Happy Halloween

In years past we've hosted Halloween parties, carved pumpkins and gone trick or treating with friends in our immediate neighborhood.  This year things were a bit different.

Since we are currently living in an apartment going door-to-door trick or treating in our complex just wasn't a option and the idea of carving pumpkins in our tiny kitchen where we would get all the slimy gook everywhere just didn't sound like much fun.  So, we skipped carving our pumpkins (now we can use them for Thanksgiving decoration too),  made cupcakes instead and then went to the Fall Fest down the street at the Verizon amphitheater.

The cupcakes turned out yummy and being that we don't know anyone down here and we couldn't eat all those cupcakes ourselves we sent some of them to daddy's office.

The Fall Fest was a lot of fun.  The kids got to go on a few rides, jump around in the bounce houses and play a couple of games.  We even became the proud owners of four goldfish which was short lived because we woke up this morning and they were all floating belly up... :-(  Such a disappointment for the kids.

Luci was so sad... Honestly if we knew they were giving out real goldfish we probably would have passed on doing the game but by the time we realized what the prize was it was too late.  Our only hope was that they wouldn't get the ping pong ball into the tiny bowl opening.

Unfortunately for us, both of our kids  had great luck last night and landed two of the three balls in the bowl. I remember as a kid wanting a goldfish so bad and trying so hard to get a ball into the bowl. It was really tough to do but our kids toss the ball and after bouncing around a couple times lands right in there!  What's the chances of that happening?  We should take these kids to Vegas right away!!!

Anyways, we hope you all had a spooktacular Halloween!!!

OVERHEARD / / memories

Our transition into Orange County has been rough on all of us and I feel especially bad for our daughter.  She misses her friends and daily routine so much.  I've done my best to make things fun for her but I think it's just going to take time.

Yesterday I walked into her room and notices she was looking at a small photo album that I put pictures of her family and friends.  I asked her what she was doing she replied that she was looking at her book of memories and remembering when she was happy.

Oh my.... it just breaks my heart!!! I just wish she could find one friend that she could connect with.

REFLECTION // Living an Uncertain Life

As we are still trying to get settled after the move South and look for a new routine, I realize that in order to have the life that I wish to lead I must choose to live a life of uncertainty.  It is taking an alternative path versus the conventional route of a person who chooses the security of "the known" and who makes decisions based solely on logic.  I am a very logical person and don't do well with "unknowns." This will be challenging for me to do.  

Back when I was in college I took a personality test called "The Keirsey Temperament Sorter."  The test told me I was an ISFJ.  According to the book, Please Understand Me: Character & Temperament Types by David Keirsey and Marilyn Bates, six out of every one hundred people are ISFJ's.  An ISFJ's primary desire is to service and to minister needs.  They carry a sense of history and continuity with past events and relationships. The analysis goes on to say that ISFJ's are super-dependable and seldom are happy working in situations where rules are constantly changing... See, there it said it.  I don't do well with change!!!!  Since it's been quite a while since I took the test I thought it might be interesting to take the test again.  Is it possible that my personality could have evolved or dare I use the word "change"?  With the advancement of the Internet, they now offer the test online on their website: Personality Test - Keirsey Temperament.  So, I took the test and I have changed. Ever so slightly but I have changed.  I am now an ISTJ (Inspector).

Although I dislike change, I am committed to being "happy" even with so much uncertainty.  I don't really like what I've been dealt but I do have a choice in how I deal with it.  If you asked me a couple months ago if I could change anything in my life what would it be I probably would have said that I'd like more time to myself.  At this stage in my children's lives I rarely have a moment to go pee by myself. But now, living in an unfamiliar area, without the daily support of our friends and family I would be happy if I could find an activity where the kids could be happy and maybe meet a friend or two.  In time I will learn to embrace change, find light when faced with uncertainty and become the artist of my own life.  I will try to move in step with intuitive guidance finding and making a new path rather than going down the one I've been down many times before. It will certainly be an adventure. 

xo- neisha

TRANSITION

My family is in a huge transition right now.  The space we currently occupy is temporary (like 5 months or less temporary) so while we are "here" most of our stuff is still in storage.  I realize that we've only been in Orange County for about three weeks and that getting settled, finding our way and making new friends does take time but right now the kids and I are feeling quite lonely. We desperately miss our old home, friends and family, stores, library, parks... we miss all of it!  We've gone through so much change lately and I don't know how much more we can handle.  I look forward to feeling like we are home and happy again. Fake it till you make it I guess :-)

Before the big move I did a little research on the area and found a place very close to the apartment that the kids love.  It's called Pretend City Children's Museum. The place is absolutely amazing! It's a mini kid friendly city that's got everything from a grocery store, library, cafe, doctors and dentist office to a beach, theater/stage, farm, art studio.... It's got lots to discover and the kids LOVE it!

We've been visiting Pretend City quite a bit and during our last trip I noticed another mom. She looked so familiar and for a brief moment I thought - do I know her? maybe I'm not so alone in this city after all...  and then it dawned on me.... I do know her but not on a personal level - she was Heather Debrow from the Real Housewives of Orange County!  If only that moment of feeling not so alone could have lasted longer. :-)

We've been venturing out of the apartment a lot lately.  The kids has a trial gymnastics class in Mission Viejo and unfortunately neither of them liked it.  bummer... I then found another one in Rancho Santa Margarita that seems a bit more like what we are used to.  It's not close to the apartment but it is in an area we think we might eventually buy a house in so well see.  Maybe it will work out.  I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

We've also made a trip to the local library for story time.  And uh... not going there again....   even my daughter, who loves the library and reading, wanted to leave halfway through.  I'm finding out that Roseville, California has a lot more to offer young families.  Who knew??  I certainly didn't realize how amazing it was until it was no longer accessible to us.

We have gone to the Great Park which I do have to say is a pretty fun place.  It's got a huge balloon that you can ride in, a carousel and play area all of which is free.  The kids enjoyed it but I don't see us spending too much time there.  It's more of a visit every once in a while kind of place.

We also discovered that Luci LOVES acting!!! I found an ad in the local family magazine for a place called Performers Academy.  She did a trial class and afterwards said she wanted to go everyday!!!  It's a little inconvenient, no a lot inconvenient for Dominic and I as it's in the evening and there isn't much for us to do while we wait and it's 3 evenings a week and 2 hours on Saturdays but she is so happy.  I've never ever seen her face light up the way it does when she's in her classes.  I'm just so glad she has found something to take her mind off of the move and missing her old routine.

So, hopefully in time the transition will be easier.  One day at a time right...???

THOUGHT // Good & Bad

why is it that when things are good it seems to happen quickly, you don't seem to get enough and when things are bad it feels like it goes on forever. slow motion, stuck on pause or even rewind???

1000 sq ft

After stressing about where to live/rent we've decided to temporarily move into an apartment and then look to buy a place.  Buy a place??? What??? Yes, I know it seems crazy.  Why would we do that if I don't even want to move down to OC.  Well, there are a few reasons to buy.

1. It's a great time to buy. House prices are still pretty low and if we find the right place it could be a good investment for us. 
2. Interest rates are still really low so a mortgage payment is close to what a rental payment would be.
3. It can be a project for me/us to work on. With no friends I think I could use the distraction.  

More to come on the 1000 sq feet and how we will fit our life into a small space.  I'm thinking it might be nice to not have so much to clean.

THOUGHT // Crazy?

Lately I've been thinking -  am I normal or crazy?   I'm pretty sure that if I asked my husband he would respond that I'm crazy.  I feel bipolar some days. I'll be perfectly happy one moment and then the next I'll feel sad and hopeless. Is it normal for me to be feeling this way? How long is it going to last? I just want to feel happy again.

If I were to ask myself that question I too would respond that I'm crazy. There's just been so much change. Too many unknowns. I certainly don't  feel normal. I feel sad, angry, depressed, scared, tired ...

I know that in the end it will all be okay, it will get better, it will get easier. At least I keep telling myself that.

I know my life, as uncertain as things seem, is better than many. Things could be much worse. Things have been worse.

Maybe I need to start a gratitude journal...

I'll start small and hopefully I can dig myself out of the black hole I feel like I'm currently in.

Today I am thankful  that my family is healthy.