THOUGHT// Having it all

It is possible to have it all?

I grew up thinking that having it all meant being a successful working woman, married with children living happily. We would live free of any financial worry and disappointment and we would have enough time to achieve "it all" all the time. Seems reasonable doesn't it?!?

I was raised in a home where my mom stayed home with us and my father would provide for the family financially. Unfortunately my father battled alcoholism and had a difficult time working. There were many times where my parents didn't have enough money for the very basics like food, electricity and shelter. We did not have it all... I would tell myself that when I grow up my life will be different - I would make different choices.  

Then in school I learned that women did not always have choices or the chance to do it all. And that there were many women before me that worked hard for us women to have rights and "have it all" and I was going to do just that.

I firmly believed that I would go to college, find a great job that I loved and work my way up the corporate ladder. I would later get married, have kids, take my maternity leave and then hire a nanny or drop my kids off at daycare every day. And I would be happy with this.

Then I had my daughter.  And everything changed.  I found that I didn't want to leave my baby with anyone else.  And so, after the birth of my daughter, I worked part time from home.  I did not have a nanny or sitter  come in and watch my child - instead I worked around my daughters schedule.  This worked great when she was young and took several naps a day.  I found that balancing work and mommy life was fairly easy. However as she got older it became more difficult and I became more and more frustrated. I felt like I was drowning in my work and irritated with my daughter if she didn't nap when I needed to make a phone call. I then became frustrated at myself and wondered what was wrong with me. Why couldn't I do it all?  I began asking myself, "can I have it all and still be happy?" 

I realized that I needed to make a choice.  I needed to either be full time mommy or work and let someone else take care of my kids so that I could do my job and do it well.  It wasn't until after the birth of my son that I quit working all together.  It really sank in that I could not be the parent I wanted to be if I was working. It was really difficult for me to not only give up all that I worked so hard for but to also let go of "having it all". I felt like I was letting down all those women before me who worked so hard for me to have it all. And that if these women thought that it was important for me to have a professional job and be a mother then I should want that too.  And so I gave up.  I wouldn't "have it all".

And then it finally dawned on the mommy brain I have that I needed to ask myself what "having it all" really means.  I discovered that the image of "having it all" in my head was not only unattainable but it was darn right crazy thinking.  I realized that I could still have it all.  I would just need to redefine what "having it all" means to me.  Today it means being satisfied with the life I now have. It's having the choice to do what is best for me and my family and that it can change as we go through the different phases of our life. I have a hard working and loving husband, two healthy children, a nice home, food in the pantry, gas in the car and the ability to do lots of things. 

I am thankful for the feminist women before me. And I have not let them down by deciding to be a housewife and stay at home mother.  They have allowed me to have a choice in what I want to do with my life. And what I choose to do today might not be what I choose to do two years from now and that's okay because right  I "have it all".

xo - neisha

Just STOP!! Please...

The kids have been really going at it lately.  and by going at it i mean rolling around on the ground, pulling hair (a lot of hair), hitting and pinching.  It is ugly and happens several times a day.  It's just ugly and I'm hoping that it ends soon.  Maybe just maybe as the little guy gets older he will be able to communicate better and things won't be so darn right ugly.  I know that most of the fighting comes from Dominic wanting to "help" his big sister or be included in what she is doing.  It usually starts like this: Dominic comes over to Luci and brings her her mimi (blanket/lovie) or favorite toy which she doesn't want at the moment.  She shoves it away and ignores him. Dominic being the determined little guy that he is then tries again and Luci gets annoyed and yells in his face, "STOP DOMINIC!" in this ugly, ugly voice.  He then gets frustrated and pulls her hair rips her hair from her head or hits her on the head

This too shall pass... and then it will  be something else...

Moon River

I LOVE the movie Breakfast at Tiffany's and Moon River is one of my favorite songs.  I sing it and hum it to my son as I rock him to sleep.  I know it's not the typical lullaby for putting a baby to sleep but it works for me.

Moon River written by Johnny Mercer 

Moon River, wider than a mile

I'm crossing you in style some day

You dream maker

You heartbreaker

Wherever you're going

I'm going your way

Two drifters off to see the world

There's such a lot of world to see

We're after the same rainbow's end

Waitin' round the bend

My Huckleberry friend

Moon River and me

Do you have a favorite song you sing to your child? 

Thrifty Find - Rocking Horse Redo

Every once in awhile I have a chance to run into one of our local Goodwill stores. I don't go very often - it's hard to go with a baby and toddler in tow - but when I do I usually find something to bring home with me.  There are lots of treasures to be had and the prices are usually pretty good!! This last trip I found something perfect for my little ones!! She was in need of a serious makeover (check out her crazy pink hair!!) but for just $4.99 I could not pass her up!!!  

With new hair and fresh coat of stain she is as good as new and has provided lots of enjoyment to our household.  She's one of those items you want to hold onto.  I can picture my grand-kids riding on her one day...

DIY // Over-sized Magnetic Chalkboard

As soon as I saw this jumbo framed chalkboard in the Pottery Barn Kids catalog I knew I had have it.  But when  I saw the price tag of  $299 plus $29 shipping for it - not to mention it only came in red - the thrifty person that I am I wasn't willing to throw down that kind of money .  Plus I'm the kind of person that thinks  I could probably do it even better and for way cheaper.  So with that I decided I would make ours magnetic!

Pottery Barn Kids - Jumbo Chalkboard

I then racked my mommy brain thinking of what is magnetic but large enough.  I've used the magnetic paint before and didn't care for the results (I followed the instructions to a T but it turned out bumpy and wasn't very magnetic)  I knew Home Depot and Lowe's sold sheets of metal in the heating and air section but they weren't quite big enough.  That's when I decided to Google search local heating and air companies and see if any sell large sheets of metal that I could then cut down to size.  I was in luck!! They not only sold large sheets of metal in many different gauges they would cut it down to whatever size I wanted.  I went with a 3 feet x 5 feet and was able to pick it up later that day.  While waiting for my sheet metal be be ready I headed over to my local Lowe's and picked up the supplies I needed.

Here's the supply list for this project:

*Sheet metal, chalkboard paint, molding, wood glue, pegboard to use as a backer and paint of your choice

Now that we have our supplies lets get started...

1. Scuff up the metal with medium grit sandpaper then wipe it down removing any dust particles.

2. Using a foam roller, roll on a thin coat of chalkboard paint.  Let dry and repeat several times. I applied 4 coats.
3. While waiting for the chalk paint to dry measure and cut the molding to go around the chalkboard.   I used a miter saw - I LOVE using power tools - but if your molding isn't too wide you can easily cut them using a miter box and hand saw.  (This is where I will give you a tip that has helped me on numerous projects - save yourself from having to go back and get more molding, measure twice and cut only once!!)
4. Paint the molding and let it dry. (Since I only needed a small amount of paint I purchased a sample size in the color of my choice)

5.  Once the chalk paint has dried, glue the sheet metal to your backer board making sure you use glue that works with metal and wood.

6. As the glue for backer board and sheet metal is drying carefully carefully glue the molding to the front of the painted sheet metal.

7.  Allow the glue to dry and cure for the appropriate time (I waited 24 hours) then attach the system you plan on using to hang the magnetic chalkboard and your all done!!

It's on a diagonal wall so it's a bit difficult to photograph but doesn't it look lovely?And it only cost about $50 to make!